I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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