just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
birth control should be required to get into college
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
