do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
