They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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