how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You took a bar mat shot.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
