we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
