they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
