You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
