now i know why i became what i already was.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They took my balls.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
