Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
