On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
