i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
