this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
