Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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