before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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