her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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