he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
