If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
