I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
