You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
