i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
