I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
