when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
