Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
