i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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