Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
