Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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