A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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