Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
