Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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