yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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