Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
