a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
