the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
