I wannas sexs uuuuu
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
