So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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