But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
COCAINE IS GR8
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
