ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
