You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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