i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
