question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
