I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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