Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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