I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
