So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
