forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
