I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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