So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
