I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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