So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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