I wish I could punch you in the face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Girls should come with a carfax report
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
